“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-5
So, love….it’s complicated, right? Not really, people just make it that way.
The word “love” means an intense feeling of deep affection. Does that mean we should say it to everyone we admire? No.
I’m guilty of this. I like certain things about someone, I think they’re perfect, I say the four letters and the three words, and then everything falls apart.
But, do I really love them?
My family has taught me a lot about love. Of course their love is unconditional love, which is the best kind (in my opinion). No matter what I do wrong, how many times I fail, or how many flaws I have, they’ll still love me the same as they always have.
So why is there such an overuse of “I love you?” Maybe it’s because we want to be loved back, or maybe it’s because the words have a connotation of being something you say when you’re in love.
However, most of the time we aren’t in love, we just love certain characteristics of the person we’re saying ‘I love you’ to.
But, how can we help not using ‘love’ too much, or to someone we just admire? Now, let me just say, if you truly love someone, you can never say it enough.
In middle school, you probably shouldn’t use ‘I love you’ unless you’re talking to your friends who are leaving your slumber party…middle school heart breaks are brutal.
In high school, you’re beginning to believe you know what love is, and you probably say ‘I love you’ to everyone, especially if they’re doing you a favor (I’m guilty of this).
In college, you may or may not find out what love is. During college, you’ll more than likely become more cautious of who you say ‘I love you’ to because of the fear of heartbreak.
To me, true love should be effortless. You should want whoever you’re with to be happier than you are. You should want to make their days better, no matter what you have to do. You should be able to act like a five-year old with them, and them not think you’re crazy. You should be able to be yourself. God should be at the forefront of the relationship. Sharing your best/worst memories and your secrets should be something you do comfortably. You’ll see the other person’s flaws, but you’ll see them as perfect imperfections. Your standards shouldn’t have to be lowered for someone you love; they should raise their efforts to meet your standards.
Guys, put your ladies on a pedestal, she deserves that. Do little things for her. Take her a cup of coffee before her big test, tell her that you’re meeting her after work and taking her to a well-deserved dinner. Give her words of encouragement when she’s feeling like she’s failing; a “I believe in you” can go a long way.
Ladies, don’t complicate things. If guys want to pay for your coffee or meal, let them. If you insist and he lets you, he’s not a jerk; he’s letting you do what you want (if you didn’t want to, you shouldn’t have insisted). Don’t settle for someone you know isn’t good for you, or someone who doesn’t treat you right. On the other hand, treat your guy how he deserves to be treated. If a guy says that you’re beautiful, say thank you. Tell your guy that they’re handsome.
If you learned anything from this post, I hope it was that love isn’t that difficult, and when you find true love one day, it’ll be worth all of the heart breaks it took to get there.
Anna Malone 